Weather that encourages sloth-iness. Down pouring, car wash like rain that makes you wonder when nap time is coming up. A good day to get the weekly grocery store run out of the way, get chili brewing on the stove for a comfort dinner tonight. Hubs is traveling again this week, so I ran to the store so he could enjoy more time with LB. My trip to the store was uneventful, others in rain coats, scouring the aisles with crinkly paper lists in hand...looking perplexed..finding themselves in the wrong aisles, again. I was glad to get this errand out of the way, so I could return home and continue to participate in the family sloth (except LB who is Ms. BusyBody, playing and trying to crawl). I was in the kitchen unpacking groceries when I hit "the wall." Hubs caught the glitch in my voice as I was rambling about something else when the words escaped me:
"I don't want people to stare at her."
I don't. I want people to mind their own business and only be able to see the beauty that we see. I know I'm not alone in this. It's part of the adjustment you go through raising a special needs child. It's the protective-bear-mama that rages against the adjustment and the wimpy-cry-in-the-corner mama that never wants to leave the house to avert the hurt. I'm finding myself somewhere in between on a good day.
Hi there--found you on the 3 (21) blog hop! Your daughter is beautiful; welcome to the Ds community. My son, Owen, is 4 and I still have moments where I get upset when people stare. I want to tell you that they won't or it will stop, but I can't. People always seem to notice things that are different than their experience. I will say that I find myself smiling at people more often when I see them staring when in the past I would have given a "death stare" to them or gotten really angry. My smile either makes them turn away with embarrassment or smile in return.
ReplyDeleteStephanie - thank you for visiting. The 3 (21) blog hop is a great idea! I love the connections and support readily waiting to be uncovered with every blog. I'm learning to smile through a lot of hurt but I am finding lately that the smile is becoming more and more genuine.
DeleteNice to meet you, thanks for coming by and welcome to the community :) She's beautiful. I may be naive- but I think I tend to take a different interpretation about the intention behind the stares. The Quail has always garnered a lot of attention- enough so that her older sister noticed when it was no longer directed at her. Enough so that one day at the grocery store Zuzu asked me- "Why doesn't the lady think I'm pretty like the Quail?" It does seem we get a lot of attention everywhere we go- but I've yet to have a negative comment made to me. We smile back and invite them in and I encourage the Quail to say hi. When it's kids it's innocent- and a good way to show them different doesn't equal bad. When it's adults I expect them to be sweet to my kid and she almost always rises to the challenge and charms them. It's hard worrying about what the intent may be though. That momma bear roar is loud in my head when it hears my worries. xoxoox
ReplyDeleteCole - I love your take on all this; I am trying to be more open minded and give people more benefit than doubt. Trying. Trying to tame the mama bear roar. Writing my own and reading blogs like yours has truly helped my focus.
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